Tuesday, April 12, 2011

B is for...

I think this is going to be my favorite post for the entire alphabet game.

Boobs, butts, and bitches.

It is impossible to walk through disneyland and not encounter these three things.  I don't know why people think they should wear super skimpy outfits at Disneyland... Sure, a little bit of cleavage is cool, but when there is a chance of some nippleage* popping out, its time to cover up a little bit. For example:

Secondly, butts.  LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS. They are cellulite revealing, crack hugging, cheek showing, UNDER garments.  Meant to be worn under a skirt or dress. Not like this:

And then there are always the "I had a kid and gained 20lbs but I am going to wear my size 8 shorts until I die!" butts. Please, buy a new pair of shorts. It'll make you look skinnier. 

And thirdly, Bitches.  These are the crazy moms with the stroller that ram into your ankles 10 times before asking you to move, then shoot you a death glare because you dared to be in her way. Or the people who save a spot in line for "a friend", which turns out to be half the population of China trying to shove their way through the line 10 minutes later. Or how about the people that sit at the shady table for hours on end while you endlessly wander around trying to find somewhere to eat (find a bench!).  Or my favorite, the people who walk into your photo just as everything is perfect.  (even if you are just trying to take a photo of some random girls wearing tutus through the park...).

 These are the park bitches.  And they never fail to show up at some point during your visit. (wish I had a better photo of someone walking through a picture, but you always delete those ones...).

So this concludes my "B" post.  Hope you enjoyed it. I sure as hell enjoyed writing it.


* Nippleage is totally my made up word, I actually pronounce it nipplage, but that looks funny written out.  It means, you don't see full nipple, but some part thereof.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Returns: Part 1

Some words of wisdom for anyone headed to a store to do a return:


Double and triple check the contents to make sure you didn't leave anything out (remote, battery, charger...)

Check the return policy so you aren't surprised by anything when you show up

Be nice to the person helping you (trust me, this goes WAAAAY further than screaming)

If you are less than tech savvy, have a child or friend look at the item before you come barging in the store, screaming at every person in site, that the item does not work.

This last one is key, and the point of this blog.  I work at a customer service counter at a retail store that sells electronics (that totally narrows it down for you :P) and we have had an unusual amount of ridiculous customers recently.  Here are some examples:

"My TV makes a buzzing noise when I'm using it", "the sound is muffled", "the screen looks fuzzy", "I ordered a white fridge not a blue fridge!".

The culprit for all of the above problems is the plastic wrap that is attached to the product to protect it during shipping.  Yes, we really had some pissed off old lady with a "blue" fridge that simply needed the protective plastic wrap removed.

"I want a portably cassette player that doesn't need batteries ... No I don't want one with rechargeable batteries, NO batteries! Just one that plugs into the wall".  Please define portable for me...?

"I want to return this portable DVD player, I have to go the doctor and I need it so I don't get bored. It stopped working this morning. Ok I"ll grab another one".  We always check to make sure there are no movies left inside and since he was planning on using it, I assumed there was a disc. Well I was right.  I'm not sure what kind of doctors office he was headed to, but he definitely had a porno in there... Yucky.

Those are just a few, whenever I get a really good story I'll be sure to post it for your enjoyment.

Good Night!

Friday, April 8, 2011

First blog! Sponsored by the letter A

Hello blogging world! Yes its true, Girl1 that you have been hearing oh-so-much about, finally has her own blog! I will indeed be sharing my disney photos here so  That Disney Blog won't have to keep posting my pictures for me.  I also may throw in some non-disney related things, including stories about the insane customers that I am so fortunate to encounter, as well as other completely random things.

I want to take this opportunity to clarify why my name is girl1.  Even though I am an only daughter, my mother refers to all her family members as husband1, boy1, and boy2.  So although she only has one husband and one daughter, I became girl1.  I decided that I should carry that theme over to my own blog, and thus I named it "girl.1"  (girl1 looked lame as the title of the blog).

That being said, I guess I should throw out a disclaimer here.  More than likely, my blog will be a little different that some of the other "disney" blogs out there.  You see, I have a rather sadistic sense of humor and will definitely be using this blog as an outpost for lots of the things I can't say anywhere else. After all, isn't that what a blog is for?  Oh, if overuse of commas bothers you, you should probably stop reading my blog. I LOVE commas.  Not sure why...

Anywho, I should probably get to the disney part of this blog.  I decided to play along with That Disney Blogs photo theme. I have some catching up to do, because I can't just start in the middle... So here is an "A" picture for you.

Ariel from small world is my "A" picture. This picture is from when I got my new fancy camera and was trying it out in a variety of settings.  So there you go! My first blog! More to come soon!